Creepozoids Review
Ah yes Creepozoids. What a ride of crap this was. Once I saw the opening scene I knew what was coming at me. A woman is working in a lab when suddenly she hears a strange noise coming from behind a door. "Someone there?" she asks and continues working. Now this scene repeats itself at least 5 times. I couldn't believe it. Finally she opens the door and what a surprise! It's a creepozoid - a giant black rubber abnormality. WHAM! That's it, the movie starts off. And then the text. Well look at the image and read yourself. I mean if this was filmed in the 50's or 60's I'd understand 1998 being post-apocalyptic but come on..1987-1998. That's a 11 year difference. Oh well. Important thing is the text is green on black. And I think some words are missing.
5 characters, terrible in acting, are deserters running from the chaos of World War III and also fleeing from the toxic rain. Anyway they wind up in this abandoned research facility filled with terror equaling farts on sunday morning. Interesting thing are the ways they wind up dead except the main character Jake. Obviously there are 3 ways to die in this movie: 1) creepozoid infects you with some crap and you live a little longer but suddenly die with yellow eyes, 2) creepozoid infects you with some crap and you become a zombie with yellow eyes, 3) creepozoid kills you right away (happens only once).
The mutated rat is really a winner. Almost as good as the laser gun. Remember it's 1998. But what puzzles me the most is the character behavior. I mean a guy acts normally and all of a sudden swoop! Left me speechless quite a few times. Great. I must mention Jake's screaming near the end of movie.. Those are some powerfull lungs. All I have to say.
Many other things make Creepozoids different than other typical 80's horror flicks. For example in most movies where there is a long scene of someone about to peek under the bed, usually nothing would happen right away... but here every time something is uncovered be it a blanket or a shaft, a monster pops out. And the ending is so unbelievably stupid that it's far from typical. From the dead creepozoid a mutated baby comes out and tries to kill Jake. Now the baby vs. Jake fight makes absolutely no sense. Baby keeps hiding and attacking. Obviously someone tried to make this suspenseful but failed. But nevertheless great scene. The baby gets it.
What also fascinates me is that at the end... I still haven't got a clue what's the story behind the creepozoid. Anyway the mysterious text on the computer made me wet my pants. Oh almost forgot when a dude is reading another text from the computer - well what's coming from his mouth is something completely different. Extremely awesome!! But how oh how could something like this happen while filming this crap?! You just have to read from the screen but guess that was complicated in 1987.
Creepozoids is a twisted crap ride. Kind of dark and boring at times but who cares. It's a damn fine stinker of pure vomit, and you shouldn't miss. Especially if you like babies.
