Curse of the Komodo Review

8 excellent soldiers arrive at the top-secret island where they immediately get killed. Stupid intro and stupid movie. Then we are introduced to a brainless porn quality looking team of three. Well, they're robbing a casino and escape using a helicopter only to end up on the deadly island of green farts. Let me analyze them one by one. First off I'll start with Drake the muscle tower, steamy and sexy like a penis with 7 balls. Don't believe me?! Observe:

Be it man or woman, I know you're getting nasty down under as you're looking at the excellent picture. His female companion is the silicone pumped Tiffany. Now these two porn outcasts have some very touching dialogues, about having little babies and living a quite and peaceful life, far away from crime. Definitely Komodo dinner. Number 3 is the completely unnecessary cool fatso Reece who will eventually become a KOMODO ZOMBIE! Don't ask me for explanations cause they're in my toilet and I don't want to dig into all the feces. The helicopter pilot is Jack and I think he's supposed to be the main character but he's just in the same septic tank as everyone else. Not accidentally on the island are professor Nathan who actually ain't so bad in the acting field, his assistant Dawn Porter and naturally his slutty daughter Rebecca that has some seriously huge breasts and no brains. Also 2 guys ready to become Komodo snack. Oh and wanna see a very cool Komodo picture? Here ya go:

So what's the story behind the green crap? You see, it's very simple and extremely logical. A general once saw a great monster movie and thought how it would be cool to have monsters on the side of the military. So he tricked Nathan into making his food growth experiment take a wrong turn and create a giant killer Komodo! Or is it just a major plot hole? Well, I don't care. This Komodo sucks. Best thing are his movements as we see an excuse for CGI that was obviously designed for retard simulations. And what's with all the scenes of everyone shooting at the lizard? First we are shown a hundred times that it's not hurt by bullets but it always runs away after a while for an unknown reason. Or maybe someone shot him in his rectal entrance?!

Oh my, am I insane? I actually forgot to talk more about Rebecca "milk farm"! No point in trying to go into character development but I can always indulge into the topless, swimming in lake scene, which makes absolutely no sense. Poor attempt at arousing the viewer. Actually it did arouse my digestion. All that dipping in and out with that disgusting face, silicone just waiting to ooze out of the skin. Disgusting but very enjoyable in the end. Also the scene with daddy comforting her brought tears to my already swollen eyes.

Another excellent mindless thing is the constant explanation that Komodo only comes out at night or when it's cold. Interesting how most deaths happen during the day when its warm and everyone is always worried if they will make it through the night. Figure it out already retards - Komodo likes the sun and only Komodo zombies attack during the night. Oh well, it just adds to the idiotic charm.

So guess how they kill the monster? The professor gets eaten along with a bomb and boom goes the greeny. You can see it by downloading the clip by the way. Dear me, this movie sucks greasy ass and I don't know what to write about it. It's basically a pile of scenes where morons try to make the electricity generator work or just shoot at Komodo. Yep short review and if you don't like it go watch the movie. Stinky smelly boring green poop.