Pterodactyl Review
After the introduction I was expecting breakthrough crap but I only got mediocre sewer systems. Pterodactyl eggs falling down a cave and then hatching. This is so awesomely bad as we see the baby pterodactyl's head pop out. Simply awesome. In a short time period, a few unlucky hunters become prehistoric snack. And the bowel workout will soon commence.
Main characters are really something. Professor Michael Lovecraft is the main guy, a paleontologist facing his last chance and having love debates with Kate (his student). Acting is naturally crap but they manage to be the best in the movie and I don't like that. What I do like is characters like: Angie, a rich young slut that likes pink and Willis, the ultimate geek of all nerds, they went way overboard with him, truly the king of losers. Who else would fall into a pile of pterodactyl droppings after taking a piss? And famous miss Angie. Quite normal to take a shallow skull inside a prostitute body on a science expedition. Okay I understand they had to show some panties and cleavage to sell this flick. Next to mind comes Coolio who plays captain Bergen. Coolio + special forces captain = maximum diarrhea. He throws at us some bad lines and demonstrates the sophisticated technology of the military. He was even trained once under Kate's dad. World is really small.
This special crap force is on the trail of a group of nasty terrorists, especially their leader Yolen since Bergen has a grudge against him. Deep sub-plot in it's finest form. Anyway, plenty of food for the Pterodactyl's. There are some funny death scenes here like Angie losing her arm and Willis still holding it. Once these predators of the sky take you up you're dead meat with only Kate being an exception. She must live so we can see the birth of new love between her and professor macho. But I won't go any further into it since it makes me sick and even twists my bowel a little. Important to note is that Lovecraft has a gun from the start. Never know when you're gonna have to shoot some fossils, right? This guy knows how to predict future obviously. Who wouldn't expect man eating reptiles if you have a pink dressed whore with you (sorry Angie).
Lots of pterodactyl's are out there and they are good at resisting bullets. Even avoiding targeted missiles. Smart bunch of hungry critters, although they couldn't alter the predictability of who survives. Could it be Angie and Willis? Off course not. It's our most beloved love-bird nest Lovecraft and Kate. Sorry for spoiling this but YES! Coolio aka Bergen meets the maker. But do not worry, it was a tragic and heroic death. Definitely Shakespeare material in the script here. First it was tears and then harsh fart attacks that echoed throughout my spirit. That should convince you how sad this really was.
Yolen's forces are consisted of brainless retards thus they provided me a few good laughs. Especially THIS guy. Look at that expression. Bet you're pissing your pants in fear. Not to mention another guy taking his pants down. Absolutely horrible. So yes this movie also has male striptease. Oh and did I forget to mention the other two students? Gwen and Jason? Yes I did. Well Gwen's character is as deep as a pile of mud and Jason... hmm now he's even interesting. I couldn't determine what they tried to make him. A dork? A prankster? A moron? Never mind since they both become regular dino snacks. And Jason looks really stupid in those moronic pants. Maybe too much pants in the last few sentences.
At the very end of the movie a strange twist develops. Maybe a sequel? Anyway something was in the cave besides the pterodactyl's. LOOK!!!
I think I didn't go too tough on Pterodactyl. Interesting at times but mostly crap flow. But worth a look if you want to see some cute dino babies. And you have a pink loving slut with no brains. Warning: it can be very scary so don't turn off the lights. When you're in the toilet.
