What better way to start off this show than with Lorenzo Lamas surfing while his girlfriend with silicone breasts observes from the beach. They are happy and in love, although there is absolutely no chemistry since she looks like an average 5 dollar slut. So anyway Lamas is an undercover cop, Reno Raines who stuck his nose where he shouldn't have. Listen to the intro speech and you'll get the picture:
That bastard Dutch! Because of his evil corrupted police schemes, Raines's girl is now a living vegetable. And guess who did the shooting? None other than cross eyed Hog, who was secretly released from prison to whack Raines. What a brilliant character full of charisma and tattoos. So before he even gets to wipe his ass, Raines is on the run, a wanted man! Dutch has no alternative but to hire Bobby Sixkiller, known as the best bounty hunter in business. Well off course since he's an Indian played by the genius Branscombe Richmond, a man who almost runs and acts moronically like Lamas himself. Bobby also has a sister, the completely unnecessary character in the whole Renegade series, called Cheyenne and she is indeed ugly with almost constant cleavage although there is nothing good to show. For some reason everyone has the hot's for her, but some people also like to see Michael Jackson nude with 20 kids so lets just say its completely understandable. Bla bla bla Raines, Bobby and Cheyenne will through the episode become friends. Why? Because Raines shows his good heart and soul by rescuing Cheyenne from Hog's biker friends. And there is even a little anal sex thrown in.
Good boy eating his beans! Yum yum. I bet you got hungry by seeing this picture of Raines licking that spoon with passion that equals horse sex. Did that scene make any sense? No, and that is what makes this show eternal. Lorenzo Lamas actually does look like a molested child of a horse and an ape. That is probably the explanation of his extremely excellent acting capabilities. Evidence is the heart squeezing dialogue between him and Cheyenne while they still haven't become bounty hunter partners together with Bobby. Experience Lamas getting into his character Raines with complete devotion. His tear soaked eyes even made me sad, and I cried when he started to theorize on meanings of love and existence. Very emotional stuff, not for the gentle and certainly not for those with digestion problems, because this just might cause a major leek.
Forgotten should not be Bobby's Indian jokes which just blow major fumes. Had had to point that out. Now back to the episode action. Basically the bad guys here are a bunch of stupid bikers that have wild parties with women and beer. Nothing wrong with that actually. Well Bobby and Raines are going to finish them off, but how? Guns maybe? Raines's high kicks? WRONG! A rope! That's right, these bastards will fall of their bikes and be handed over to the police by Bobby. Everyone is happy, Raines is now a bounty hunter and no one knows why Dutch doesn't even wonder why Bobby abandoned his original job - insanity.
There's nothing much more to talk about the first episode, it's great stuff but not the best. Don't forget to eat all of your beans!
