Shark Attack 3 Review

I was really desperate for not seeing any bad shark movies lately and then suddenly this comes before me. This is truly a remarkable masterpiece of piles and piles of crap. Haven't laughed so much in a long time.

I'll start with the plot although no one actually cares about it. Megalodon, a prehistoric shark is somehow awake and is attracted to underwater cables which are installed by a company full of bad guys aka ass holes. But there is not only one shark but TWO!! The baby and the mother. It's so unexpected that I can't believe it. Now the two main characters Ben (this guy actually sounds like Tom Cruise) and Cataline oh and the ex-navy operative Chuck try to kill the sharks. Interesting thing about these 2 sharks, apart from them being stock footage, is that they produce abnormal and weird sounds. Something like a twist between farting, roaring and barking... Great. The stock footage is also awesome showing us a lot of documentary material. Especially when a bad guy jumps from a cruiser straight in stock footage shark mouth! Everything is really damn charming here.

Why do most actors in this movie make faces like they're retarded? A very difficult question. Imagine that and very bad voice overs in almost every scene and you have a winner. I was most impressed with Chuck with his expressions throughout the movie. Definitely the most versatile actor here. Off course in means of making idiotic faces. Since this is happening in Mexico almost everyone has very bad english accents. Hell yeah!! I really couldn't ask for more badness in terms of acting here. I love this movie!

The absence of logic in some scenes is astounding especially when people are jumping from the attacked cruiser. While everyone was safe on the boat suddenly everyone starts jumping towards the shark to get eaten?! What the? This scene really impressed me. Now I know if I ever see a shark I'm gonna jump and go say hello. I bet he'll be happy.

This movie features the best dialogue in recent movie history between two main characters. Be sure to check it out in the sounds section. I don't want to spoil it with text, simply listen to it... Awesome stuff. There is actually one CGI effect in the movie, the scene where Megalodon is grabbing the small submarine and Ben is swimming out. I thought Boa had lousy CGI effects but this really tops it.

I'm not going to go any more into this review. This is one of those movies that just has to be seen. A true B-movie modern masterpiece that doesn't let down in entertainment. From the very first lines spoken through one of these actors you will wonder: "Why haven't I seen this one before? Jaws suck I want sharks who fart!"